Pain in the Offering

"Just take a pill... it will heal faster."

Ever since I can remember, I've been adversive to taking pills. A phobia. At its peak, I hyperventilate. So, many times, I'd choose the road of suffering. As long as the suffering didn't involve having to swallow any pills.

I'm not sure what I'm going through, this season of my life. Seems more boggled than usual. Maybe that's why I'm writing after so long. Maybe that's why my mum's usually unheeded medical advice seemed suddenly intriguing.

I know I'm dealing with wounds. From the past, from the present. It gets even more complicated because other people's wounds seem to hurt me too. Funny how something acquired virtually in a split second can take what seems like a lifetime to recover from.

If there was a pill to heal all these wounds, I think i'd consider taking it.

...Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Matthew 9:12-13)

Resah

Currently Reading
Alkitab
Berita Baik
By The Great Author

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Just been reminded that I've still an overwhelmingly lot to prepare for the mission trip which is ONLY TWO DAYS AWAY!!! No more blogging for me!! I think I need some banana leaf rice!

Desert Rain

Hebrew 10:24 & 25 came alive to me today. It was through the group of cell leader interns that I've been meeting with. Which has really been a joy! SIGnets, i call them... S.I.G. standing for Sunseeker Interns Group... with hopes that these cygnets will grow into beautiful swans in Christ! =) My week had been a spiritually-low one... felt quite disjointed from God. But meeting with the SIGnets somehow helped spur in me a need to quench my thirst for God's Word! Funny isn't it, how sometimes we refuse to drink even when our throats are like deserts?! I finally hit the oasis I had been circling for days.... Lord, it's truly amazing how You always seem to weave the verses planned for the day into whatever we end up discussing, no matter how off-tangent we go! It's like You're really there listening to us and You have something to say at the end of all our stumblings and mumblings! The topic we had wandered to was about giving people solutions to their problems versus pointing them to Jesus. And the difficulty sometimes in resisting the urge to give people fish instead of teaching & allowing them to fish. The scripture was John 15:7 to which I suddenly felt the Spirit prompt us to add verse 8. "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. The connection wasn't very clear at first but after a short time of corporate meditation, we were silenced by what was suddenly revealed to us. Later, the Spirit shed even more light on it as I processed it verbally with my good sparring partner. As we point people to Jesus & God's Word, many times both we and they don't fully realize the need of abiding in Him and letting His words soak in us. Maybe it's because we are living in a quick-fix era. And at that same-paced glance, what I had thought myself to be a personal gain formula: me+scripture=answered prayer, well... just wasn't. It's not about solutions to my gain, but a show of His glory. That "ask whatever you wish & it will be given you" phrase is really sandwiched by two slices of the same kind of "wholesome wheat bread" - the focus being on God. The first slice (in vs 7), needing to be grafted & so staying on as branches in the Great Vine and drawing the necessary nutrition we need from Him (through His Word), then secondly (in vs 8), bearing fruit that has in it those same nutrients and vitamins, maybe even multiplied! Again, the focus is on God (& not ourselves), as that fruit is to His glory and simply shows us as fruit-bearers of His planting and growing! "The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD's name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love." (Isaiah 55:10-13, NLT)

In the Quiet

Just Watched
The Pianist
a ROMAN POLANSKI film
By Adrien Brody, Thomas Kretschmann, Frank Finlay

Sometimes you don't need answers. You just have questions. Inside... where only God can hear. And you know it only matters that God hears.



"I will lie down in peace and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, will keep me safe." (Psalm 4:9)

Open Up the Doors

I'm a perfectionist. At university, I used to stare at an empty page (which later evolved into screen) for hours, days even, before I started writing, continuing, and finishing my papers. This soon cultivated into a phobia of embarking on essays which in turn enhanced my habit to procrastinate. It wasn't because I didn't know what to write... I just had an uncontrollable need for every word to be the right and perfect one. In the end, I was either late or in a last-minute frenzy. Well, actually, my friends were in a frenzy and I was just high on concentrated adrenaline!

It was a difficult relationship - writing and I. Make no mistake, I loved the craft but it was just too painful in crafting. So I narrowed down my words and broadened my vision. To photograph. To videograph. They came much easier. and more importantly, much faster to me. They filled in the gaps when words, phrases, sentences were still hiding in my head, heart & thesaurus.



So this is my timid re-entry into a world of words. A double entry, if you like. Of both visuals and words. In hope that the journey through passages that take me from darkness to light may be a more memorable and meaningful one.

"On arrival, they got the church together and reported on their trip, telling in detail how God had used them to throw the door of faith wide open so people of all nations could come streaming in." (Acts14:27)

So how do I get photos up?

Trying to understand this thing!